Những lần bất đồng quan điểm, từ mặt nhau quá nhiều. Tuổi thơ đòn roi từ bố cũng quá nhiều. Nhưng đến khi gần 40 tuổi con đã đủ để hiểu tất cả những cái đó không là gì với tình thương của bố. Con yêu bố & mẹ! Bố hãy tiếp tục mạnh mẽ chiến thắng mọi bệnh tật và ở lại thật lâu trên đời này với con bố nhé.
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Bài luận khi học môn "Tâm lý xã hội" Coursera. Điểm tuyệt đối 14/14 không khó chỉ trong vài tiếng. Để đạt được chỉ cần nói thật lòng mình, sống thật với chính suy nghĩ của mình mà thôi.
Day of Compassion:
I live in Hanoi,
Vietnam, an Asian developing country. My father and I used to be best friends
under the same house till I got married 10 years ago. Now I am living with my
wife and 2 kids in a different mansion, roughly 1 hour-drive from him. From the
long unresolved dispute due to the my marriage over 10 years as well as the
time I have spent with him less, I feel there is a growing big distance over
the time. He is getting old at 78 and quite weak by now.
Taking chance from
the Day of Compassion, I feel there is a need to do something for the
improvement of the good old day relationship.
I start a DOC by
coming to his house, talking and listening to him. I guessed by now, I can
define Compassion is not only "to suffer with" as Dr. Scott
mentioned in the lingual explanation, but also for me, it is "to listen
to somebody with whole heart". I have never listened to him that much
in the last 10 years as I used to be. Soon, I decided my DOC is not just 24
hours but the next 72 hours, canceling all works and arranging a trip back to
his hometown, driving him about 300 miles back to Tru Lien, Ha Tinh, a poor
village in the Central of Vietnam where he spent 20 years of his childhood.
During the 8 hour-driving, he was so excited and talk a lots to me and I
clearly felt the happiness and joys from him that I have rarely seen for long.
It has been several years he could not come back to hometown with his son.
Normally, I acted as bystander- not response (lecture 6.1 - Bystander
Intervention...) for most things, as there are my aunts and uncles or
sister and my brother-in-law, who can take days-off to be back to hometown.
Sadly, so far, non of us have succeeded doing so with lots of reasons and
excuse till this. Causal Attribution theory kicked-in here for what I am doing
(Kelly's causal attribution theory- Dr.Scott' lecture 2.1: The Whys and
Wherefores of Behavior)
+ Low
consensus: I am the one to do it now (at least first among relatives
of Dad)
+ High
distinctiveness: This is different decision in comparison to may other
times.
+ Low
consistency: it is particular occasion while many times previously, i acted
differently. I hope from now on, it will be higher consistency for this kind of
act.
I guess the
"salience" here is actually the DOC assignment, which triggered this
wonderful experience of mine. Thanks to Dr. Scott to bring me this concept
& practice.
By picking a trip
to hometown, I open more chance for the "third side is us" to work
out itself, whereas, my dad and I could easily find a common agreement and can
be immersed in the love of village-ship. (TED talk by Dr. William Ury:
"The third side is us"Lecture 6.1: Halting the Lions of War by Taking
the Third Side).
This time, I decided a difference and really enjoy myself very much that I did this. No more excuse for being over-occupied by works and responsibilities at work.
This time, I decided a difference and really enjoy myself very much that I did this. No more excuse for being over-occupied by works and responsibilities at work.
Maybe, I just
generalize things a bit that even in a small community, villagers like my dad
had, I think the more emotion-connections you build the less act of violence
and terrorism against each other. That might also illustrate the least
developed countries have less terrorism (stated by Dr. Scott's lecture
6.3: Countering Terrorism: Is Psychology Mightier than the Sword?). This
might be even true in current Vietnam society, the more remote village is, the
less act of violence as in the noisy, crowded city. It is neither the backward
nor lack of information, it is the emotional bound lines that link people in a
closer community together.
I like the
"DOC me" and I will definitely do practice more DOC till it becomes
my norm. I could not imagine that a "work-a-hollic me" can really
enjoy the trip so far and the happiness over some days off from my daily works
at office. The happiness to everyone surrounded is benefits over the cost
of some over-time working.
Of course, my Dad
and the hometown neighborhood noticed the different immediately. Everybody
seems to be happy to see me and express an overwhelming emotion to me and my
Dad.
Now, I am writing
this assignment from this remote village on my iPad, powered by my car battery
and 3G connection in order to complete and send over after my approximately 48
hours of DOC. I definitely bring my wife and two son back here to encourage
everybody in the family to share the feeling of being in an old community of
"village-ship".
And to further
encourage other relatives to do this, I will make this act consistent overtime
by fixing a periodical schedule to keep coming back with Dad at least once
every year as long as my Dad's health permits. (Consistency is the 4th key
factor in science of persuasion, lecture 2.7: Secrets from the Science
of Persuasion by Dr. Cialdini and Steve Martin).
The humming bird
story in the lecture reminded me about my trip right after the Fukushima crisis
in Japan wearing a humming bird printed t-shirt in a movement of my Japanese
friend to show my support to Japan people, where my family and I spend part of
my life living there.I am proud that I did that why many others advised me
about its dangers and not to do so. That persuasive act also helps sustaining
the growth of my software outsource business to Japan for now (#1
Reciprocity).
To end this
assignment, I would like to re-quote Mahatma Ghandi's saying: “Whatever you
do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”
Yes, I did this
time. I hope to have more DOC in my life.
peer 1 → Well done! Your definition of compassion is creative, and your
analysis is very clear and insightful. Besides, your opinions and conclusions
are logical and reasonable. The reason I took off 1 point is that I think the
positive impact of your compassionate activities is not very profound. I
appreciate your devotion to your father, hope your family happy, perfect and
harmonious!
peer 2 → Hi there!!! It was truly amazing to see how you used you DAY OF
COMPASSION to reunite with your father. I have to say that it was a touching
story and the concepts of psychology were perfectly explained. And I don't
think that we need more DOC to show such compassion anymore as we can fully
understand it's value now ,so we can try to live compassionately throughout. I
really hope that you win the DOC award. ALL THE BEST!!!
peer 3 → Dear fellow student! How touching was your day of compassion! I
have to admit I did also a "thank you letter" and the experience was
also very rewarding and I think I can nearly understand you ( however mine was
not written to my Dad so probably you have gone through a bigger emotional
roller coaster). I also liked Ghandi's quote. Hope your realtionship with your
dad will continue growing. Kind regards.
peer 4 → Congratulations, I am so happy for you and your father. It must
feel good to have your relationship restored! I think you had a wonderful 48
hours of Compassion and I can only hope you will succeed in making this a way
of living! I think your essay was well written en very clear. I wish you all
the best!
peer 5 → The writer seem to have got the most out of the day of compassion.
The job done is well deserved for appreciation and excellent. The effort made
is superb and the outcome is fantastic. If this could be the sole benefit of
this course then this course is worth being offered again and again. If the
moderator is viewing this comment, I would like to nominate my friend for the
DAY OF COMPASSION special award.
Your
effective grade is 14
Your
unadjusted grade is 14, which is
simply the grade you received from your peers.
See below
for details
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